Many couples come to therapy feeling stuck in the same arguments or periods of disconnection. Often, it is not simply the conflict that keeps repeating, but an underlying emotional pattern between partners.

We all bring our histories into our relationships. Past experiences with family, attachment, trust, and intimacy can shape what we need from a partner and how we respond when we feel hurt or disconnected. Sometimes, our partners can unknowingly touch vulnerable places that existed long before the relationship began.

My approach to couples therapy integrates emotionally focused and psychodynamic perspectives. Together, we’ll slow down the interactions that keep you stuck and explore what’s happening beneath them: What did you hear when your partner said that? What did you need in that moment? What made it difficult to say that directly? What happens inside you when your partner pulls away, becomes upset, or asks for something you aren’t sure you can give?

I’m active in the room. I’ll ask questions, point out patterns, and help you communicate things that may be difficult to say or hear on your own. The goal isn’t to eliminate disagreement, but to help you understand one another more deeply, change patterns that create disconnection, and build a relationship that feels more secure and resilient.

You don’t need to agree on exactly what the problem is before coming to therapy. It’s common for partners to arrive with different perspectives on what’s happening and what needs to change.

Some of the reasons couples seek therapy include: